Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
