i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
NoShamevember. You game?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
