Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize