The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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