shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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