the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
