I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize