theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
