Please, let me fuck your mom
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
