Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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