I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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