i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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