its not stalking. its research.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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