i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Randomize
