I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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