Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
