Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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