His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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