Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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