It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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