Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
