the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
