At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
