God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
