Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
