dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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