we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
