Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
either way he was missing a nipple.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
