Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
do nipples grow back?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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