you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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