Umm I'm too high to move.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
