I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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