I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
