there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My liver just had a heart attack.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
