Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
NoShamevember. You game?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
