after a month anything with tits is on the radar
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
