just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
