It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't deserve a penis
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize