We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
