you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
