I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
