I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So. Much. Porn.
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