i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
