garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish I could teleport
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
