North Korea, Best Korea!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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