Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
