i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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