You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
