Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize