I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
