i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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