I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
as a side note pls kill me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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