God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
