The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
