it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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