I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you win again, gameday.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
