im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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