Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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