I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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