How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
