This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
