I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money