her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
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Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.