it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
