I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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