All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
